bank: your account is at -$5000….

me: |-5000|

me: :)

bank: sorry for wasting your time sir, you have a nice day.

(Source: blastortoise-chan)

Sep 5th at 11PM / via: nickelbackthatassup / op: blastortoise-chan / reblog / 79,179 notes


My goal is to be that rich single aunt that flies everywhere and wears designer clothing and brings expensive gifts to her less successful family members

Sep 5th at 11PM / via: fault-in-our-blog / op: lebaenese / reblog / 215,961 notes

(Source: nutstradamus)

Sep 5th at 11PM / via: i-likeyourfunnyhat / op: nutstradamus / reblog / 131,722 notes

View in High Quality →

(Source: deadlyvibes)

Sep 5th at 11PM / via: okgabie / op: deadlyvibes / reblog / 738,600 notes

Easily the best part of the VMAs.

View in High Quality →


Easily the best part of the VMAs.


Sep 5th at 11PM / via: itsrebeccablack / op: buzzfeed / reblog / 107,511 notes


*forgets to talk to friends for 4 weeks*

Sep 5th at 11PM / via: wawaqueen / op: baebees / reblog / 1,050,374 notes



im a bad person who thinks bad thoughts like ‘ew what is that girl wearing’ and then remember that im supposed to be positive about all things and then think ‘no she can wear what she wants, fuck what other people say damn girl u look fabulous’ and im just a teeny bit hypocritical tbh

I was always taught by my mother, That the first thought that goes through your mind is what you have been conditioned to think. What you think next defines who you are.

Sep 5th at 11PM / via: wawaqueen / op: danosaurs-and-philions / reblog / 494,795 notes


bo burnham being a sassy little shit on twitter part 1/5

Sep 5th at 10PM / via: leaveamessageatthebeep / op: wolfluxury / reblog / 22,122 notes

sleepy transparent pug

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sleepy transparent pug

Sep 5th at 10PM / via: zackisontumblr / op: pugbugduckmug / reblog / 105,129 notes

(Source: morticiathecat)

Sep 5th at 10PM / via: zackisontumblr / op: eccentricauntie / reblog / 88,663 notes
Anonymous: whats the craziest thing youve ever done?



omg okay so one time (i think it was sophomore year) i was sitting in class and my teacher, out of no where, says “i can see your bra strap through your shirt hanna” and i looked down and you literally couldn’t see it unless you were blatantly staring at my chest so i said, “well i can’t” and he says “you need to go change your shirt” and i said i didnt have another shirt so hes like then go home and i had a burning hatred for this teacher i still do because it was like he went out of his way everyday to piss me off so i stood up and took off my bra under my shirt, dropped it on the floor next to my desk and sat down.

i was suspended for a week. 

this is the most amazing thing I have ever read. I swear to god this gives me life.

Sep 5th at 10PM / via: thug-wifee / op: punkcr / reblog / 81,595 notes
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